Monday, July 25, 2011

Delay defeats justice....

Every morning when we wake and finds that we are alive and still here the next thing we do is to try and remember the dreams we saw and what side did we wake up.Hoping to learn some divine inclination on what our future holds.I don't really go for that istikhara thing where people wake up and suddenly remember they were suppose to check.
Today I wake straight or on the right side because I still have pain in my right shoulder and in trying to keep it pressed and in less pain I sleep in only two modes.
The first thought that came to my mind was that "ah we have electricity...thankGod.!
Next I remembered that during the loadshedding last night I feel asleep without taking the medicines I checked the time in my mobile and it was around 4:05am suddenly I realized that I have not offered the Isha prayers last night before falling asleep after supper.I immediately got out of the bed and prepared for Isha but the moment I step onto the prayer mat I heard a very far away azan sound I wasn't sure so I started the isha prayer.During the prayer I heard a clear Azan sound from a much nearer mosque.Completed the isha prayer and then offer the Fajr prayer.After the prayer as I was pacing slowing and listening to the Azan calls from different mosques all around town.This maxim of equity "Delay defeats justice" suddenly flashed in my mind and It started repeating in my mind thoughtlessly. It made me uneasy and took away all the pleasures of a carefree early morning walk .So I stopped that and sat on the computer and started writing this blog.As I was googling for the word "istikhara" and found a religious web site where it was explained how one can interpret dreams with the colors one see in a dream,the power was shut down for loadshedding. It was a very unexpected and almost two hours early power shut down.
I spent more than two hours of loadshedding reading newspaper ,having tea and chatting with family in a very disturbed state of mind because my heart and mind was into this blog.I did not go for the backup power source to complete the blog because I had no hurry to finish it.But now hours later I am in a very different state of mind and I feel that this blog will not make any sense to me if I read it tomorrow or a year later.   

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

You Walk You learn...

I am a forty two year old Idiosyncratic person.I learned this word in the nineties from Larry king (live show).Very soon I found out that the one thing peculiar about me is that I do not make friends.Even today I walk alone in one of the most dangerous of places in the even more dangerous city of Karachi.I love the looks on the faces of the security personal of various governmental and private security agencies and forces when I pass by them in a very carefree mode with both ears plugged with a FM radio headphones and playing with my mobile camera.Obviously it did disturb them but for some unexplainable reason they never try to make direct contact with me neither do they let anyone disturb me.If and when anyone tries to make friends with me he or she either gives up because of my not showing any interest or is removed from my surroundings after some time for not being able to produce any constructive change in me.It has become a very interesting exercise for me I find it very exciting how a would be friend is chosen for me and put in my pond and then rejected like a not so perfect fruit.Its not at all that I hate all these wannabe friends.I like some of them so much that I even feel infatuated with them all the time they are around.But then they move out of my life so I stop worrying or caring about them as much.My interests in life are so varied that no average person could possibly follow my likes and dislikes.When I was in school I would never take part in debates but now I feel that there is no topic or issue in the world that I cannot discuss with the people I know and at the end of the debate usually they don't like me very much because of my irritating stubbornness.Most people these days don't go that deep into an issue they just want to chat and have a good time.I on the other hand is always on the look out for an interesting and educational debate on issues that interest me or anybody else whom I like.
So I want to express my self to the fullest capacity of my mind and body and yet I want not to be disturbed by anyone anytime.Complete Freedom is a very utopian concept.In our degraded society the general concept is that you are either social or unsocial.If you are social then you must be a family man you must be married you must have a must interact with your family and friends from time to must help them when they need you and they must be there for you when you need them.If that is not the case then you are unsocial and unsocial can have many bad interpretations.You could be sick,mentally disturbed,anti-family, anti-state and even Anti-Humanity.
Well, the most interesting thing to note here is that our degraded society has now been further downgraded.So no one can claim to be social even if he is a family man and lives with a houseful of family members unless he is married.Alone person who does not have a married life after certain age even if he has a family to look after with or without friends is definitely Unsocial and you know unsocial can have many bad interpretations God-forbid.
So at forty two i am not married,I make no friends,I am not getting a job and the family that cared for me is gradually turning against me I am definitely Unsocial.
About four years ago when Papa died many of his family and friends who saw my emotional farewell and found my affection for him tried and offered to help me which I refused because I wanted to remain unsocial for as long as I can.The security agencies may be a little worried about me but still sees me as an ally.I don't see any eyebrows raising from other communities such as religious,business and political as well.So whoever wanted me to be Un-unsocialized had to use somebody from within the family.The Domestic Approach usually works in cases like mine.But After almost four years of verbal and physical abuse by peers I have come to know that I am Idiosyncratic in more than one peculiar way.That is I don't make enemies as well.How strange?