Sorry Ammi & Papa .....

This is my first Bakra Eid without my both Parents .All my life I have lived and celebrated this happy occasion with them, I never had or known any other option . Since Papa died about seven years ago I still have Ammi and I lived so close to her that even the known and celebrated Mother Fuckers objected . Ammi was a very hard working always active and supportive kind of person she always wanted to live her life and die what she called chaltey pheartey . Unfortunately as she grew older she developed three main illness . Diabetes , Angina and cervical spondylosis . Doctors and Hospitals were not willing to take the risk with her sent her back home many times . Thanks to the medical science the Diabetes and Angina can be controlled through the treatment and medicines even at home but the cervical spondylosis and old age cannot be cured without surgery of the highest risk . Money was never an issue . She was not the kind of person who easily allows to be operated and with me and my siblings always there for her I felt sometimes she did not even shared the temporary pains with us. We all knew very well that a fall could be fatal so we tried to be there for her always . anyways I have been repeatedly told that Allah jo karta hai behter karta so I presume that whatever happened to Ammi woh toh subse hi behter hua hoga . so I don't really regret that much the fall and the failed neuro surgery and a very painful post operative care . but somehow since she is gone and not here with me I realized how much she must have missed Papa on every major event and occasion like the Bakra eid . Bakra eid has always been a very interesting event in my life . Papa even though he was a very social and intellectual kind of a person loved to perform this holy duty himself . From going to the mandi ( animal market) to buy the perfect animal to the slaughter . I remember how he never let a bhangi touch his sacrifical animal and would stand with the butcher when he removed the hide and make the meat (sliced) . Our Bakra eid never ended with the slaughter and the family feast or on the third day of eid . Having many wealthy friends Papa always received large un sliced (cut) portions of meat especially the best quality legs and shoulders . Not caring about their real intentions they will always remain in my good books , thoughts and prayers because they provided me with not only the best quality of meat but also a very rare opportunity of a quality time with Papa when we put up temporary butcher shop in the living room . with Papa being the main guy and me being the youngest in the house yet extemely agile got to be the help . There was one more reason for being so willingly helpful to both Parents on any occasion not just Bakra eid . I never liked in-house domestic servants and maids the filthy creatures who break things tell weird stories and take leave whenever they are needed the most besides constantly asking for a raise . My relation with my parents was very different from anything I get to see around . Most parents love and care their good ones more than my parents could ever due to their social and moral obligations and responsibilities but in return they demand love, respect and achievements , Milestones that come at a very regular intervals of time . My parents God bless their souls , neither wanted love nor respect in return , nor money or fame in return for a life-long love and care. They both of them only wanted me happy , healthy and Theirs . I have to confess that I realised this very late in life . years after superannuation when they became grandparents and I remained their top priority ,their love, care and craving for my company especially on events like eid and Bakra eid did not change at all . and this became a very common phrase " kahan ghayab ho....subha se shakal nahein dikhai ..." and I use to say we had lunch or dinner togather just hours ago... another smokescreen were the groups of prank callers whom now I remember as the teasors ....the Papa teasors and Ammi teasors ...the Papa teasors never directly inquired about me but ... Ammi teasors after Papa grew very impatient and this was the fun part not even trying to eves' drop lying very relaxed on my couch or bed next to Ammi's overheard a million times , while she replied very confidently " kuch nahein " (Nothing ! ) to queries ...." aur woh chotey waley kya kartey hain ..? " ( what do your youngest do ? ) lol She took my breath away when I had to lift her couple of times at the morgue and at the funeral .. :'( Both parents were very strong believers and followers of the Holy duties such as regular Namaz(pray) , Roza(fasting ) , Hajj & Umrah ( pilgrimage to mecca ...papa performed two hajj and multiple umrah , Ammi did one hajj ) , Zakat ( sharing with the poor and needy ) , temardari ( care and inquaire about the sick and patient s ) and the qurbani (sacrifice for Allah ) . Few years back Ammi and my elder siblings decided that since I spend most of my time on the net chatting with strange American women with fake id's and also watch too much youtube on eid and Bakra eid , I need to sacrifice more than anybody else so they started arranging an animal for me. I prefered dumba (fat-tail sheep ) because it was less expensive and has rich cultural aroma and taste very different from the fat free or cleaned mutton meat we get from butchers of jamshed town and tariq road originating from British Indian city state of Agra , UP . Last year on Bakra eid it was almost over an year after the ban on youtube , I had given up most the net activities and had been spending more time with Ammi watching movies and hindi soaps and serials so this time it was not what I need but what I wanted . A young baloch shepherd ( may he grow up to be a very wealthy american rancher .amen) carried my fat-tailed home . it was amazing I saved all the meat from the sheep and had my favorite dishes ...it was awesome. Since Ammi is no more here to insist and persuade us especially those who are always ready and willing to act . I knew that whatever path I choose I will have to show that I am not losing it , Allah loves me and the America cares . So I begged not to arrange an animal for sacrifice on this Bakra eid . Ignored all provocations , insinuations and instills . Shaved , Cleaned , wear clean cloths (white) , perfumed , met family and friends . Watched show-offs & the desperates , did shopping for the edibles and above all Eat better than those who have millions more :-) Not sacrificing an animal on this Bakra eid or allowing anybody to do so in my name or on my behalf , does not mean that I am out of this league for good . Infact by not doing this holy act I have unintentionaly caused a break in almost over a half century old American tradition and multiple old and new british and french customs . So I am very sure that next year no matter where I am in the world there will be a finest quality animal most probably a fat-tailed sheep (dumba ) waiting for me on the eve of Bakra eid like last year .